I’ve been running in circles all week; working on a video edit I should have been done with 10 days ago, trying to start a home renovation with no beginning in sight, making everyday plans and decisions I feel like I’ve made a thousand times.
It hasn’t been a bad week, just a repetitive one.
Over the years I've noticed I have creative cycles. Every few months or so, I hit a funk. I am currently experiencing one of those funks.
I can't get out of my own way. I've been making technical errors I haven't made in years. I've had trouble connecting story elements that I know are right in front of me; like a word on the tip of my tongue I can't seem to find what I'm looking for.
These cyclical funks used to really get me down. I'd get depressed wondering if lightning would ever strike again; if I'd ever make another picture, write another line or shoot another video worth anything.
I now see these funks as necessary time down.
I spent many years burning myself out trying to force my way out of these fruitless periods. I now know that if I'm not feeling the magic, banging my head against a computer for hours isn't going to help. It's only going to make it worse.
This week hasn't been totally lost. I finally captioned and uploaded some images that have been at the top of my to do list for weeks. I even made some progress on the aforementioned video edit before being side-tracked by everyday issues like putting my clothes in the wash only to realize I was out of detergent (true story).
So now, instead of aimlessly listening to interviews I have now heard several hundred times, I'm going to walk to a local art festival, I'm going to drink a beer with friends and I'm going to watch the Jaguars play what I hope will be mediocre football.
Tomorrow will be a new day. The circle will continue spinning and maybe - just maybe - this funk will be over.